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COACHING COUNSELLING AND MENTORING

"'There are no rules, and you need to know them" often quoted in the context of art, and by faculty members of the School of Coaching, such as myself, when training people to become coaches. This is an especially apposite phrase when considering the distinction between the three domains of coaching, counselling, and mentoring – because there is much confusion about where the boundaries lie, and we want answers.

To me the answer is simple; there are no clear distinctions, or indeed rules. Because each relationship between two people is unique, the contracted relationship too will flex according to the desires, needs, capabilities, knowledge, and beliefs etc. of either person. For example a psychotherapist who also coaches, will work differently to the ex-Chief Executive who coaches, and the ex-Chief Exec who is also a psychotherapist will work differently again.

There seems to be common acceptance that the distinction is less crucial between mentoring and coaching than between counselling and coaching.  Indeed, Julie Hay the President of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC) says’ we deliberately have not got a definition, there is so much confusion. We think it is wiser for people to discuss’.

The Oxford School of Coaching and Mentoring (OSCM) also make no distinction - defining mentoring and coaching "..as a dialogue with the overall purpose of providing help and support for people in an increasingly competitive and pressurised world to take responsibility and control of their own learning and development in order to develop their skills; improve their performance; maximise their potential and to become the person they want to be."

Others are clearer; Myles Downey (Effective Coaching) ‘Mentoring is concerned with longer term career issues, while coaching is concerned with more immediate performance issues’. Greek mythology is often quoted in the context of Mentoring where it is said that Odysseus entrusted his home and the education of his son to his friend Mentor. "Tell him all you know," said Odysseus to Mentor, hence the common understanding of mentoring as passing on experience and knowledge.

As we consider the third domain of counselling, the desire for clarity becomes greater, with the potential risk of causing harm as we seek to help another become a healthy and fully functioning person. For example if we diagnose what appears to be ‘stress at work’ missing what is actually clinical depression, or a preference for ‘introversion’ defined in Myer Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is masking an inability to cope.

The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) definition says ‘Counselling takes place when a counsellor sees a client in a private and confidential setting to explore a difficulty the client is having, distress they may be experiencing or perhaps their dissatisfaction with life, or loss of a sense of direction and purpose’.

And of course there is a continuum where counselling moves into psychotherapy. At last! we cry, there must be a clear distinction, not so, the BACP says ‘It is not possible to make a generally accepted distinction between counselling and psychotherapy’.

So it seems there is general agreement that the boundaries are very blurred indeed. Many have tried to make distinctions, and indeed it is possible to gain some clarity, generally by making comparisons on a chart! There are many charts to be found, and many other comparisons, with say teaching, or training, or supervision, and of course psychotherapy.

A lay-person would be challenged to identify in which of the domains the conversation was occurring, someone more sophisticated would ‘spot the difference’. For example; when judgement is applied, or when the coach asks a question from their own agenda or the counsellor seeks to understand the past.

Those seeking clarity would do well do produce their own matrix one of which has been started below;

	Domain of coaching	Domain of mentoring	Domain of counselling	Domain
What is the intent?	Development and performance at work	Career and personal development	Becoming a fully functioning person
What is the need?
What is off territory?
Who can do it?
What models are used?
What skills are used?
What training is required?

‘Do no harm’. This useful maxim is crucial for providers of coaching, counselling or mentoring.  Here supervision becomes relevant as a methodology to assist us in developing our self awareness, to know where our personal boundaries lie, for example, a previous life experience that limits us in some way, or a belief we hold affects our judgement of others. Supervision is a pre-requisite in the counselling and psychotherapy professions, and increasingly coaches are working with supervisors to provide support and development.

In conclusion, the coach, mentor or counsellor is required to ‘know thyself’ and build a sophisticated knowledge of their capabilities and limitations to ensure we provide an excellent service to our clients, and have the ability to hold a contracting conversation up-front with a client about what ‘product’ is on offer, to be able to manage the boundaries well, wherever they lie, for you and your client.

Jane Meyler
Business Coach
Faculty Member, School of Coaching